011; Dream interpretation II.

Mental Institute
To dream that you are in a mental institution, indicates a need for rest and a need to reset your mind. Don't be afraid to ask for help/assistance when you need it.
To dream that you are outside a mental institution, suggests that you are feeling ostracized or shunned. You may be close to a mental breakdown. Or you are feeling left out, excluded, and ignored.

Mother
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.

Office
If the office in your dream is unfamiliar or strange, then it suggests that you are comparing yourself to someone else. You are measuring yourself against other's standards.

Staircase
To see a staircase in your dream, symbolizes change and transformation.

Message
To dream that you are receiving a message, represents a message from your unconscious.

--

In my dream, "SUZIE Q" was written on a wall.
I find it kind of odd that that's a street name for a drug used to treat schizophrenia, bipolar/depression, as well as insomnia and anxiety.

010; Echoes, silence, patience & grace.

I can recall two deers in my dream, guiding me I think, they're taking me through a forest filled with red berries, but maybe they're fooling me; it was something I read, that it "represents vulnerability and naivety, and as a result, others may take advantage of you and your gullibility", and I'm not quite sure but I lay down in the roots of a tree and it feels safe, then everything goes black, or maybe I wake up.

Another dream is just a blur of a darkened house (it's mine, but it's different) and the overwhelming feeling that something is wrong, I get anxious and scared, maybe I'm being chased, or there's a murderer in the house, or my mother is possessed, and everything is dark.. These kind of dreams happen frequently.

009; My heart is returned to sister winter..

My christmas has been.. good. I started the day crying and ended up throwing up, but somewhere in between it has been actually completely okay, despite loud children and stress and a killer headache. I got a bunch of books--The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Lolita, Kafka on the Shore, Practical Magic (amongst others), and I think I might spend the next month or so hidden away in my room, just reading.

If I have the strength, that is.

Unfortunately the gift I ordered for my younger older brother hasn't even gotten here yet...but I hope it'll get here before he leaves. It's pretty awesome and he'll love it. Sindri comes back tomorrow, with Sofia (his wife), and we're having an extra Christmas Eve. I'm looking forward to seeing them. ♥

Songs I've been listening to a lot lately:
† Sister Winter by Sufjan Stevens
† A Song To Pass The Time by Bright Eyes
† Season's Greetings by Lovers
† If Winter Ends by Bright Eyes

008; I'm tangled up again...

I'm back to not being able to keep my food down; I thought I was past this. I just can't stomach it. I felt sick all night and then I finally threw up.. After a while, I came out and my brother told me I looked like Marion Silver.

Oh, and yes, my brothers came home today. It's nice to have some company, although Sindri is just staying for the night.

Now, I'm going to bed. I have a massive headache and my throat hurts.

007; A light change.

Everything seems to have worked out; I don't have to go back to class (for now) and I can just relax for the coming month. I talked to the (temporary) teacher at the service class center today and he asked me, "Why aren't you doing what you want? You came into this class and yes, you might have enjoyed it, but deep down, you don't want to be doing this. The most important thing is that you feel good about what you're doing. You shouldn't care about other peoples' expectations. Follow your heart."
And everything made sense. And he helped me more than probably any of the therapists I've had through the years. It's like he knew me, almost instantly, after talking to me for about fifteen minutes. And it felt so good.

Tomorrow morning is the total lunar eclipse, and I hope I'll be able to see it. It'll be pretty light by the time it's supposed to climax, and also the weather prognosis doesn't seem too good.. but I'm crossing my fingers. It is also the winter solstice, and I'm just doing a pretty simple ritual to celebrate the return of light.

Oh gosh, and my best friend Joey and I exchanged Christmas presents today and I got the loveliest gift; a Wiccan journal and an amethyst pendulum (third from the left) ♥

Songs I've been listening to a lot lately:
† Season's Greetings by Lovers
† Traveling Through A Sea by Grouper
† The Ghosts You Draw On My Back by Múm
† A Light Change by Grouper
† Sæglópur by Sigur Rós

006; I'm going back to the start..

I'm anxious about tomorrow; I have to go back to class* and I'm unsure of what to do because I don't have a meeting with the employment agency (who are in control of these things) until mid-January. They will probably kick me off the course (if they haven't already) because I've missed too much, and I'm completely fine with that because I don't want to do anything. The only thing I have left is work practice and I don't have a placement.

Psychiatric never calls me back and they were supposed to. I'm right back where I started, the same place I was a year ago.

And what with Christmas coming up I'm even more stressed.

And all I want to do is eat and sleep..

Songs I've been listening to a lot lately:
† Song From the Sixteenth Floor by Paul Kelly
† Turbine Womb by Soap&Skin
† Chocolates & Cigarettes by Angus & Julia Stone
† Between the Bars by Elliott Smith
† Sullen Girl by Fiona Apple

*Trade & catering program full of lectures, group discussions, different areas of the business, and for me (since I'm the only one taking catering); mannerisms, practical studies (for example, how to set a table), theory of catering, as well as work practice.

005; Dream interpretation I.

Maze
To dream that you are in a maze, denotes that you need to deal with a waking task on a more direct level. You are making the situation harder than it really is. Alternatively, the maze symbolizes life's twists and turns. It represents indecision, confusion, missteps, feeling lost or being misled.

Lost
To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.

Drowning
To dream that you are drowning, indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Repressed issues may be coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your unconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If you drown to death, then is refers to an emotional rebirth. If you survive the drowning, then it means that a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.

Suffocating
To dream that you are suffocating, signifies that you are feeling smothered or oppressed by some situation or relationship. Something or someone is holding you back. You are experiencing a lot of stress and tension.

Glass House
To see a glass house in your dream, suggests that you need to be cautious about what people are telling you. They may be telling you what you want to hear, and not necessarily what you need to hear.