I keep meaning to post something but it all feels so worthless.
Current weight: 99.6lbs.
While I'm asleep, she'll arrive at his place, and he'll smile and hug her and kiss her and then they'll spend the next three days together. And I am all alone.
And if you're in love, then you're the lucky one 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone Setting fires to our insides for fun To distract our hearts from ever missing them But I am forever missing him
I wrote this in December 2010, but it still holds true.
Lately I've been craving skin, affection, protection, safety, a warm-blooded body next to mine. But I can't, for several reasons, and I feel I might never have anyone. I might never be able to let someone in, let myself go, give in. I feel like there might be some trauma hidden beneath all this skin and neural tissue, in the marrow of my bone, the very core of me.
I have far too many insecurities--I might never be satisfied with myself.